Mom, Mother, Momma, Mommy, Mama, Whatever name you go by to your kids, I see you. I do, I see you. I see you are tired. I see you are exhausted. I know you think you are failing. I know you feel like you are not enough for your family.
Will you listen for a minute… or two? Your precious children were given to you because you are exactly the mom they need. Let that sink in. The Lord could have given them to anyone. But He gave this child to you.
Your kids don’t care what you look like. Mom, they don’t see the extra 5 pounds that you do. They don’t see that you haven’t showered in a week. Your kids don’t care about all of the degrees that you have or don’t have. They don’t care that they don’t get the Pinterest perfect party. They don’t care how many mistakes you make as a parent.
They are thankful for you. You are the most beautiful woman in the world to your kids. Your smile calms their fears. Your hug tells them they are loved. We will never be able to fix all of their problems, and we don’t want to because they wouldn’t learn that they need to depend on God.
Your faith will get you through the hard parenting days. I promise.
The most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home. You are such a special momma, and you are doing a great job. Now keep going. I know the days are so long, but sweet Mama, the years are short. This season will soon be over, and you will wish you had embraced it more. Let us be parents without regrets knowing we have done the best we can!
Try to do something this week too – Bless another Mama. A simple “you are doing a good job” can go such a long way to a tired mama. It may be in a grocery store or at a gas station. Ask the Lord to show you a Mom that needs a blessing this week.
Hold these two scriptures close and go give your kiddos the biggest hug. You rock, Mama!
Isaiah 40:29-31 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Proverbs 31:28
Sister, I need to share the goodness of God with you today.
The Spirit has been thick today. If you know, you know. Hours later, the tears picked up, so off to get dressed I went. Of course, when I say “get dressed,” I mean pulling clothes out of the dirty laundry because I haven’t had a chance to wash my clothes. Moms, you know this too well. Their clothes get washed, and if there’s room in there, then yours will. So I am writing this in a sweatshirt that says “Sunday Kinda Girl,” and it’s Saturday. No judging. I have on Christmas pajama bottoms from last year that are a bit snug. Thanks, thyroid medicine. And to top it all off, I am still wearing yesterday’s makeup from going to bed a little too late. The teens hung out at our house until late last night and of course, I had to give advice. Ha! If you are perfect and don’t get any of the above, I am sorry and hope you stick around. I promise you’ll like it here. I woke up with my eyes leaking. I knew what this meant. The Lord is saying, “There is something I need to tell you.” “There is something I need to show you.” Do you know that feeling? Doesn’t it feel so good? You feel so lost in His presence, but this time you like being “lost.” Not a “lost” like you are in Oklahoma, supposed to be in Arkansas, and end up in Missouri lost. That’s a story for another day. The tears haven’t stopped flowing. Praying in the Spirit. Come Holy Spirit. All of the noise is blocked out. The Lord is giving visions. You can SEE them. You are broken, but it’s a “good broken.” No, nothing is weighing on me. I’m not heavy today. I’ve gone to the burden bearer, so I’m light. He carries that load so much better than I do. Yes, He’s the most outstanding counselor ever. He doesn’t even charge an hourly rate. Thank goodness because I would be broke. Ha! Just in case you haven’t heard, HE paid my bill. He has paid yours in FULL too. We are undeserving. Aren’t you grateful? The Lord is working. The Lord is moving. I am thankful for what the Lord is doing. I am thankful for how HE is moving. I am grateful. He is worthy.
See Sister, You shouldn’t just enter into His presence on Sundays. You have to crave His presence. Yes, crave. I crave Hershey Almond bars almost every day. Crave Him more than that candy bar, Sis. Your Sunday should carry into your Monday-Saturday’s. A presence of worship should fill your home, office, car, or WHEREVER YOU ARE. We have to get to the point where we can’t step a step without Him. We can’t roll out of bed without Him. We can’t go into our day until we have first talked to HIM. I have to take daily medicine to function since I am missing my thyroid. It’s the first thing I do as soon as my eyes open. I have my pill and water on my nightstand. I know if I miss that dose, I will get sick. I can’t live without it. What if we approached His presence just like this? What if, as soon as our eyes open, we go straight to Him and His word? What if we lived like we can’t live without HIM? Sis, don’t put on a front. Stop saying the proper lingo. Don’t just post your love for Him. Be “hungry” for Him deep down. You know those hunger pains when you have missed a meal. Let that be your prayer. “Lord, give me that kind of hunger pain for more of you!” I can’t eat breakfast or drink coffee for 1 hour after my medicine. What if we approached the worldly noise the same way? What if we didn’t check email, social media, texts, or the news until 1 hour after spending time with Him? Something I have learned since taking this medicine is that my taste for coffee has changed. Some days I don’t even want it, and I don’t crave it as I did. I think you my, Sister, will see the same changes happen in your life when you start. Start your day in His presence first. Things and relationships that once filled you will not serve you any longer. Your life will drastically change. It’s a good change, Sis.
Sister, Surrender. He’s waiting. His arms are open wide. He doesn’t care what you’ve done. You don’t have to have it all together to go to Him. Because when you go to Him, you don’t leave as you came. He’s the chain breaker. He’s a giant slayer. He’s a miracle worker. He’s the soft, sweet, still voice that whispers, “It’s going to be Ok!” He’s waiting. He’s waiting on you, Sweet Sis. There is beauty in fully surrendering to Him. It’s more beautiful than any handbag you will ever carry. Yes, even Hermes.
Sister, Give him your life. Give him your marriage. Give him your kids. Give him your ministry. Give him your job. Give him your hopes. Give him your friendships. Give him your finances. Give him your dreams. Give it all.
Sister, Let’s go a little deeper. Give him your tongue. Sis, this can and will hold you back. Give him your words. Give him your anxiety. Give him your depression. Give him your mind. Give him your thoughts. Give him your fears. Give him your pride. Give him control. Give him the toxic relationships. Give him the bitterness. Give him the offenses. Give him your conversations. Give him your addictions. Give him every chain in your life. What else can you give Him? Sweet Sis, go to Him in prayer and ask Him to show you? But, don’t be scared when He shows you. Also, don’t ask and not do what He says. You will find a great reward in your obedience.
Sis, Go ahead and give it to Him. He’s waiting to take it all. Take that first step. You got this. It’s time. Go into His presence. Invite Him back into your life. Invite Him back into your home. You got this because He’s got you!
Holy Spirit, Speak to my dear Sister right now. I pray for total surrender. Let her surrender every area of her life to you. I pray for a new move in her life. I pray for a fresh anointing. Renew her mind. Guard her heart. Saturate her in your peace. Come Holy Spirit. Move Holy Spirit. Speak to my dear Sister.
One of my dear friends calls me “Sister Pastor,” and I giggle each time. Don’t you love and cherish the Prayer Warriors in your life? She’s one of mine! I was not scheduled to put out another blog post, but the Lord poured this out today, and I know it’s for someone. I pray this will minister to you during this Holiday season, dear Sister Pastor!
Sister Pastor, I wanted to encourage you. I hear you even though you are saying nothing. I feel the aches of your heart even though you are not expressing them. I know the pressures you are putting on yourself. I know all about the Christmas activities with the family, Staff gifts/parties, how to show your congregation love at Christmas, serving your community, weddings, sickness, school programs, Christmas shopping, dinners, and trying to make everything perfect for everyone this time of the year. Yet, you still feel like you are not measuring up to what you need to be, all while neglecting your mental health and needs. I know what it’s like to hear everyone else’s problems all day, yet not one person asks YOU how you are doing. I know what it’s like to sit with someone at the hospital, all while fighting your own secret health battles. I know what it’s like to take a phone call with someone complaining about every petty thing under the sun, and yet you are dealing with your own battles that no one knows about. I know what it’s like to feel like you are everyone’s sounding board. I know what it’s like to always have to be strong for everyone. I know what it’s like to take several baths a day so the running water will disguise the sobbing cries. I know what it’s like to soak just a little longer in the tub because the tears keep streaming down your face. Just make sure you don’t have that long “ugly cry” with new lash extensions; wait 24 hours! Can you say burning eyes?! HA! I know what it’s like to be in a room full of people and yet feel so alone. I know it too well, Sis. Please know you are not alone. Please know there is a whole army of us out there just like you. Please know some of us are there now, and some of us have already walked this. Please know there is no such thing as “Perfect.” Please know you are loved.
Sister Pastor, I know this time of the year is when you feel the heartache of those who have lost family members over the past year, and you know they are facing their first holiday with an empty seat at their table. I know the scenarios of waking up all hours of the night praying for peace over them and that every broken piece of their heart would be mended. I know what it is like to ask the Holy Spirit what you could do to make their holidays just a little extra special. I know how you can feel what they feel because of the love the Lord has given you for those in your life. I know how this great love is indescribable and comes with saying YES to the Lord. You won’t know this love unless you have answered the great call of Pastoring.
Sister Pastor, I know this time of the year is when you feel the loneliness of those who have left your church over the past year. I know how it’s the ones you thought at one time “they would never,” and well, they did. I know what it’s like to reflect back on false accusations and get frustrated all over again. I know what it’s like for the Lord to tell you to be quiet when you want to show proof of what they did. I know what it’s like to “know what you know,” and yet you remain silent. I know what it’s like to want to act in the flesh and let all confidentiality fly out the window, but you don’t because your integrity and convictions are stronger than the flesh. I know the thoughts of “How can they not see through that?” and “How do they not see the evil?” I know what it’s like to have to tame your inner Madea. HAHA! I know what it’s like to have people call you that you don’t even know and say those words, “the same thing happened to us,” over and over. I know what it’s like to want to kick yourself for not seeing the signs. I know what it’s like not wanting to trust anyone ever again. But I also know what it’s like to forgive and love. Sis, that’s where the peace is. Sis, Listen. Listen close. What the enemy means for evil…. Say it with me “God uses it for our good!” Sis, every time. Every single time. Who wants to run some circles with me? I feel a Pentecostal service coming on. I see people running and wigs flying! HA! Isn’t He just SO SO SO good?!?! I know what it’s like to choose to think about the fun times and memories. Choose to hold onto those instead of the ending sent by the enemy. Choose those fun memories, Sis. Choose them every single time. I see you smiling now. Smiling looks good on you.
Sister Pastor, I know this time of the year is when you are interceding all hours of the night and day for those facing depression. I know you know what they are going through silently. I know you see past their fake smile. I know you see the heartaches that they are so good at hiding in front of everyone. Your prayers will not go in vain. Your love is cherished more than you know. They will live all week off of your encouraging words and smile from Sunday. The Lord woke me up a couple of months ago praying for someone and their “suicidal thoughts,” and I found out that they gave them to the Lord at the altar the very next day. Pastor Sister, no one sees your warring. No one sees you battle in your kitchen on your knees for that precious family to be restored. NO ONE SEES. NO ONE WILL EVER SEE. Oh, Sister, but the Lord does! Ok, wait, your dog will see and think you are a crazy squirrel! HA! How precious it is for the Lord to see and hear you walking out what He has called you to do! What a beautiful sight to His eyes! This, my dear Sister, is why he called YOU to Pastor, be a helpmate, and lead. You have been chosen for this position and at this time.
Sister Pastor, I know the feeling of wanting everyone to like you. I know what it’s like to be the hot topic of the rumor mill and to know they have it all wrong. I know what it’s like to love that Sister so hard that you have to let it go because she has to “see for herself.” I know what it’s like to want to pick up the phone all day and try to protect that Sister to what she is naive to. I know what it’s like to want to be a protector. I know what it’s like to want what you think is best. I know what it’s like to question what God is doing in this season. But I also know the peace of fully surrendering every Sister in your life to the Lord. Some Sisters are only in your life for a season. Some Sisters have only been put in your life for a reason. Some Sisters are not just “some” but are “chosen” and called to your small circle. Yes, small. I know how small the circle is. But dear Sister Pastor, cherish that small circle. Cherish those three that will hold your hands up in battle. Cherish those three that will war for you. Cherish those three that will have your back when you are not around. Cherish those three who will tell you what you don’t want to hear, but you need to hear. Cherish those three who won’t “listen” when you are not around. Cherish those three who are led by the Holy Spirit. Cherish those three who are not easily swayed. Cherish them. Love them. I love hard, and sometimes I feel like it’s an awful trait for a Pastors wife, but the Lord reminds me sweetly each time that it’s not. He reminds me that it’s exactly what I should do. Love hard. He loves hard. He loves us hard every day, even when we don’t deserve it! Love them hard. Pray for your small circle. Pray for them with boldness. Pray for them with authority. Pray for their needs. Tell them Thank You for answering the call to be in your small circle. I know it takes a particular person to be in the “small circle” of a Pastor’s Wife’s life. Thank them. Thank them for me too.
Sister Pastor, One last thing, If you do not have a prayer life, your time in ministry will be short-lived. You can not survive without hunger for prayer. You can not survive without being in His presence every day. We need Him more than anything in this life.
Sister Pastor, I am praying for you over the next several weeks. I am praying that you: Pray. Feel loved. Restored joy. Guard your heart. Love hard. Forgive. Choose Love. Forgive. Pray with authority. Know you are enough. Guard your mind. Pray in the Spirit every day. Take care of yourself. Pray. Forgive. Choose Love.
I love you, dear Sister Pastor!
I wanted to leave part of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs with you…. “How beautiful are the feet? Keep walking, keep walking. Keep preaching, keep teaching. Keep walking, keep walking. Keep preaching, keep teaching.”
This song is a must listen to! The gates of hell will NOT prevail! “Build Our Church” by Elevation Worship
What a friend we have in Jesus! This hymn was written in 1855 by Joseph Scriven and it still rings true today.
Oh, sister! How real are those words?! Read it again.
Why do we carry things that are not ours to carry in the first place?
What needless pain are you carrying around?
It’s time to unpack that bag!
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28–30.)
We have to learn to let things go and stop carrying the weight around. That bag can get quite heavy, can’t it?! We are all guilty of taking things in and adding them to our life “bag.” It’s usually things that are more than just meaningless; they are harmful. See, we need to be real with ourselves and ask:
What am I carrying?
Unforgiveness?
Bitterness?
Negative emotions?
Other’s opinions?
Depression?
Anxiety?
Negative talk?
Toxic relationships?
Whatever it is, sweet sister, only you and Him know.
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved” (Psalm 55:22.)
It’s time to unpack that bag, sister!
Guilt has to go.
Anxiety has to flee.
Rejection is bound.
Addiction has no place.
He is THE chain breaker.
Victory is won. Let’s stop living a life of defeat. A very high price was paid for our victory. We are victors, not victims!
See sis, YOU decide on whether you carry those burdens around and let them weigh you down, because only you can do the unpacking.
Jesus is ready and waiting to bear the weight, but will you give the heaviness to Him? Will you leave those unnecessary items from your bag with Him? His arms are open wide, but sometimes we like to hold on with a death grip. Right? We have all been there.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10.)
Let’s focus on Jesus! Isn’t it right, “What a friend we have in Jesus!”
What a precious privilege it is to carry everything to Him in prayer!
Sister, you are a VICTOR! Not “will be” or “has been” but you ARE!
Now, go and walk like it because that bag is lighter so you can walk with that pep in your step! You got this, sister!
Sis, I know you are hurting, but it’s still not ok. It’s still not ok to try and repay evil with evil. So much is going to tempt you in this life but To have your heart clean and free of offense is how you will fight this. What they did is not ok. There’s no justifying it. Just remember that no one can take your character, integrity, or fruits from you. Sometimes you just have to walk away without anyone knowing your side. Is it hard? Yes, Sister, it sure is. Is it right? Yes, Sister, you have made the Lord smile. The day you stand before the Lord will be with clean hands. You will know that you can sleep at night and sleep well because you have not caused a brother or sister in Christ to stumble. You said no to Pride.
Let go of what they did. Let go of what they said. Let go of who they deceived. Let go of the hurt. Let go of those they hurt. Let go of man’s opinion. Let go of the posts. Let go of repeating the story. Let go of the words in that text. Let go of that phone call. Let go of how they tried to frame you into something. Let go of who was so quick to believe. Let go of who believes this and that. Let go of who listened to such evil. Let go of unforgiveness. Let go of bitterness. Let go of pride. Let go of not being able to speak. Let go of vengeance. Let go of the flesh. Let go… Simply let go…..
I know there are so many emotions, but the right thing to do is to let go. Let God fight this battle. Don’t you trust Him to? Has He ever let you down? No, Sister, the Lord is always faithful. Sis, weapons will form, but they will never prosper. I have seen it my whole life. Every evil act is always brought to light. I believe in our offense; all we can see is the hurt. We are looking at it through pain instead of through grace. I know sometimes it’s easier to run to the phone instead of the throne. Run to Him. His arms are open wide. He will give you the best hug. He will show you the truth. He will show you the way.
I need you to listen. I need you to know. We are not God. You are not God. Vengeance is not yours. Vengeance is His. You never know what someone is genuinely facing internally; some of our Sisters are struggling with mental health. If we want to be honest- suicidal thoughts, depression, pills, body harm, and so much more. Inside her designer purse could be everything she hides to keep her calm and to be able to function. Under her beautiful wide brim hat could be a mind that the enemy has captive and has her questioning whether or not she can live another day. Inside her gorgeous figure could be a heart that is broken and thinks it is beyond repair. She could be disguised with a beautiful face of makeup because her cheeks were mascara stained just hours earlier from struggling with her worth. Sister, don’t use condemnation to make yourself look more prominent and mightier than anyone else. It’s never worth your sister or anyone falling. Your sister that you could be harboring against could be on her last straw. She could be about to fall. You don’t know so don’t go there.
Have you forgotten how the Lord forgave you? Have you forgotten how the Lord loves you even though you fail him every day?
What if the Lord wasn’t so quick to forgive you? What if the Lord posted about your faults all day? What if the Lord woke you up every day, holding mistakes over you? Doesn’t the Lord come beside us and say, “I have forgiven you. I forget this. I don’t love you any less. Now let’s grow and walk together.” Pretty sure He does! Let’s not forget how He continues to pick us up every day. Don’t focus on when, how, or if the truth will come out; just keep being who God created you to be. That is the best defense against the enemy’s strategy. Restoration is always more important than someone’s side. We have lost that in this world. We would rather repeat than repair. We have turned into doing whatever we can to make sure someone’s sin is broadcasted for all the world to see and all with a smile on our faces.
You are worthy, Sister. So are the people who hurt you. Don’t condemn yourself, and don’t condemn them. Move on. Reconciliation is beautiful, and the Lord always wants to restore. Let go, Sis. It is ok. Know that when you are called to a higher purpose, your job is to protect souls and point them toward our forgiving and loving Father. Is it hard some days? Yes, I know it is but remember the Lord has entrusted you with this.
That same grace and mercy that you ask for every day is the same grace and mercy that you need to give out in abundance. Oh Sis, we are so unworthy of His forgiveness and all He has done for us! Isn’t He just beautiful?!The choice is yours, treat them like Jesus would or treat them like the world does? Now, go put your big girl panties on, some praise and worship, and just stay in His presence. Oh Lord, we need you now! Praise Him, Sister! He will bring you through this.
To the Sister who is reading this: What do you need to let go of? Who do you need to forgive?
Do you need Christ in your life? Please message me above, and I would love to pray with you to receive salvation. It’s a gift. Completely free. Just take it.
You were given an opportunity one day, an opportunity (and honor) to share Jesus and to share your story that day.
On that day,
Someone needed to hear about Jesus.
Someone needed to hear about grace and mercy.
Someone needed to know the chain breaker.
Someone needed to hear about the hope that YOU have.
Have you ever been in the presence of a name-dropper?
Everyone just had someone pop into their head and let out a slight chuckle because there is usually a story to follow.
You just met this person,
And,
Well,
You know nothing about them.
You know more about who they know than who they are.
…Wait, did you even get this person’s name?
You know more about everyone’s business in the room than who this person is.
…In fact, you are still waiting on their first name.
Here’s one thing about me; I am not a “stage person” at all.
I don’t like being in front of people.
I do not want all eyes on me.
I know that I didn’t zip my pants,
I am sweating through my shirt, or
I must have bright red lipstick on my teeth.
I say that with a LOUD chuckle because
I go through every “worst case” scenario.
Sister,
now don’t tell me that you have never gone through that list before?
I know you are laughing.
This is why I love Sisterhood.
We get each other.
We have each other’s backs.
Wait, I was Snow White in an elementary school play.
I do have one credit.
Where have my royalties checks been sent to all of these years?!
I need to look into that.
So, where do I like to be?
I am a major “behind the scenes” kinda gal.
I like to cheer for others.
I watch and listen a lot.
I have had the “not so great” pleasure of hearing a name-droppers conversation a time or two.
I know we all have.
I was on my laptop, and I ran across an interview.
They were given a short time to talk about Jesus and share their story.
This interview ended up being a game of one-up and constant name-dropping on who they knew in ministry.
Sadly, they were in this game alone.
You could even tell by the interviewer’s tone; this was not the goal of the interview.
It struck my heart.
Hard.
…But then it all clicked as well.
Name-droppers live a life of comparison.
Sister, the comparison trap is a tool of the enemy.
Rebuke insecurity and comparison,
they have no place in your life.
They must go.
Never compare your journey to someone else’s.
You don’t know the battles they fought to get there.
Social media is just a highlight reel.
Focus on your task.
Only do what you have been called to do!
Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.
Galatians 6:4
Sister, this is not a race to see who can have the largest
following by manipulating “relationships.”
When we see Jesus he won’t ask us how many followers we had on Facebook or Instagram.
When we see Jesus he won’t ask us how many attended the last conference we hosted.
Love people.
Listen to their hurts.
Wrap your arms around them.
Pray with them.
Cry with them.
Sit in silence with them.
Love people.
Truly love them.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; …
1 Corinthians 13:1-8
They see you, beautiful sister, but they need to see Jesus in you.
They hear you, sweet sister, but they need to hear about Jesus.
We need real.
We have too much fake.
Let’s die to that nasty flesh.
This is not about us, but it’s ALL about HIM!
Sister,
you will have the opportunity (and honor) to share Jesus and your story with someone today.
I’m Julia, welcome to my corner of the internet. I'm a pastor's wife, mama to four amazing kiddos, a leader, speaker, and now blogger! Here we’re going to keep things fun, real, and loving. Thanks so much for stopping by!
