One of my dear friends calls me “Sister Pastor,” and I giggle each time. Don’t you love and cherish the Prayer Warriors in your life?
She’s one of mine!
I was not scheduled to put out another blog post, but the Lord poured this out today, and I know it’s for someone.
I pray this will minister to you during this Holiday season, dear Sister Pastor!
I wanted to encourage you.
I hear you even though you are saying nothing.
I feel the aches of your heart even though you are not expressing them.
I know the pressures you are putting on yourself.
I know all about the Christmas activities with the family, Staff gifts/parties, how to show your congregation love at Christmas, serving your community, weddings, sickness, school programs, Christmas shopping, dinners, and trying to make everything perfect for everyone this time of the year.
Yet, you still feel like you are not measuring up to what you need to be, all while neglecting your mental health and needs.
I know what it’s like to hear everyone else’s problems all day, yet not one person asks YOU how you are doing.
I know what it’s like to sit with someone at the hospital, all while fighting your own secret health battles.
I know what it’s like to take a phone call with someone complaining about every petty thing under the sun, and yet you are dealing with your own battles that no one knows about.
I know what it’s like to feel like you are everyone’s sounding board.
I know what it’s like to always have to be strong for everyone.
I know what it’s like to take several baths a day so the running water will disguise the sobbing cries.
I know what it’s like to soak just a little longer in the tub because the tears keep streaming down your face.
Just make sure you don’t have that long “ugly cry” with new lash extensions; wait 24 hours!
Can you say burning eyes?! HA!
I know what it’s like to be in a room full of people and yet feel so alone.
I know it too well, Sis.
Please know you are not alone.
Please know there is a whole army of us out there just like you.
Please know some of us are there now, and some of us have already walked this.
Please know there is no such thing as “Perfect.”
Please know you are loved.
I know this time of the year is when you feel the heartache of those who have lost family members over the past year, and you know they are facing their first holiday with an empty seat at their table.
I know the scenarios of waking up all hours of the night praying for peace over them and that every broken piece of their heart would be mended.
I know what it is like to ask the Holy Spirit what you could do to make their holidays just a little extra special.
I know how you can feel what they feel because of the love the Lord has given you for those in your life.
I know how this great love is indescribable and comes with saying YES to the Lord.
You won’t know this love unless you have answered the great call of Pastoring.
I know this time of the year is when you feel the loneliness of those who have left your church over the past year.
I know how it’s the ones you thought at one time “they would never,” and well, they did.
I know what it’s like to reflect back on false accusations and get frustrated all over again.
I know what it’s like for the Lord to tell you to be quiet when you want to show proof of what they did.
I know what it’s like to “know what you know,” and yet you remain silent.
I know what it’s like to want to act in the flesh and let all confidentiality fly out the window, but you don’t because your integrity and convictions are stronger than the flesh.
I know the thoughts of “How can they not see through that?” and
“How do they not see the evil?”
I know what it’s like to have to tame your inner Madea. HAHA!
I know what it’s like to have people call you that you don’t even know and say those words, “the same thing happened to us,” over and over.
I know what it’s like to want to kick yourself for not seeing the signs.
I know what it’s like not wanting to trust anyone ever again.
But I also know what it’s like to forgive and love.
Sis, that’s where the peace is.
What the enemy means for evil….
Say it with me “God uses it for our good!”
Sis, every time.
Every single time.
Who wants to run some circles with me?
I feel a Pentecostal service coming on.
I see people running and wigs flying! HA!
Isn’t He just SO SO SO good?!?!
I know what it’s like to choose to think about the fun times and memories. Choose to hold onto those instead of the ending sent by the enemy.
Choose those fun memories, Sis.
Choose them every single time.
I see you smiling now.
Smiling looks good on you.
I know this time of the year is when you are interceding all hours of the night and day for those facing depression.
I know you know what they are going through silently.
I know you see past their fake smile.
I know you see the heartaches that they are so good at hiding in front of everyone.
Your prayers will not go in vain.
Your love is cherished more than you know.
They will live all week off of your encouraging words and smile from Sunday.
The Lord woke me up a couple of months ago praying for someone and their “suicidal thoughts,” and I found out that they gave them to the Lord at the altar the very next day.
Pastor Sister, no one sees your warring.
No one sees you battle in your kitchen on your knees for that
precious family to be restored.
NO ONE SEES.
NO ONE WILL EVER SEE.
Oh, Sister, but the Lord does!
Ok, wait, your dog will see and think you are a crazy squirrel! HA!
How precious it is for the Lord to see and hear you walking out what He has called you to do!
What a beautiful sight to His eyes!
This, my dear Sister, is why he called YOU to Pastor, be a helpmate, and lead.
You have been chosen for this position and at this time.
I know the feeling of wanting everyone to like you.
I know what it’s like to be the hot topic of the rumor mill and to know they have it all wrong.
I know what it’s like to love that Sister so hard that you have to let it go because she has to “see for herself.”
I know what it’s like to want to pick up the phone all day and try to protect that Sister to what she is naive to.
I know what it’s like to want to be a protector.
I know what it’s like to want what you think is best.
I know what it’s like to question what God is doing in this season.
But I also know the peace of fully surrendering every Sister in your life to the Lord.
Some Sisters are only in your life for a season.
Some Sisters have only been put in your life for a reason.
Some Sisters are not just “some” but are “chosen” and called to your small circle.
I know how small the circle is.
But dear Sister Pastor, cherish that small circle.
Cherish those three that will hold your hands up in battle.
Cherish those three that will war for you.
Cherish those three that will have your back when you are not around.
Cherish those three who will tell you what you don’t want to hear, but you need to hear.
Cherish those three who won’t “listen” when you are not around.
Cherish those three who are led by the Holy Spirit.
Cherish those three who are not easily swayed.
I love hard, and sometimes I feel like it’s an awful trait for a Pastors wife, but the Lord reminds me sweetly each time that it’s not.
He reminds me that it’s exactly what I should do.
He loves hard.
He loves us hard every day, even when we don’t deserve it!
Love them hard.
Pray for your small circle.
Pray for them with boldness.
Pray for them with authority.
Pray for their needs.
Tell them Thank You for answering the call to be in your small circle.
I know it takes a particular person to be in the “small circle” of a Pastor’s Wife’s life.
Thank them for me too.
One last thing,
If you do not have a prayer life, your time in ministry will be short-lived.
You can not survive without hunger for prayer.
You can not survive without being in His presence every day.
We need Him more than anything in this life.
I am praying for you over the next several weeks.
I am praying that you:
Guard your heart.
Pray with authority.
Know you are enough.
Guard your mind.
Pray in the Spirit every day.
Take care of yourself.
I love you, dear Sister Pastor!
I wanted to leave part of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs with you….
“How beautiful are the feet?
Keep walking, keep walking.
Keep preaching, keep teaching.
Keep walking, keep walking.
Keep preaching, keep teaching.”
This song is a must listen to! The gates of hell will NOT prevail!
“Build Our Church” by Elevation Worship